I’m in no way surprised by the lack of posts in 2023. The previous post pretty much set the tone for the entire year. Only you can add in a sleep study that resulted in an autopap machine I’m supposed to be using at night when I sleep. I loathe that thing. If it actually felt like it was making a difference it would be one thing, but I haven’t felt any different whether using it for 7+ hours or not at all, so it’s not difficult to question its effectiveness. Also add in a major surgery for my wife, and it adds up to be one shit-show of a year.
It was also around the time of that last post where the depression got REALLY bad, and I found myself in a state I never really thought I’d be in, and one from which I struggled to get out. But I think (hope) I’m past all that. The meds, the therapy, the corrected hormone levels, and the love of those closest to me seems to have finally got me closer to my old self. Perhaps even the one that’s been missing for quite some time.
There were some good times and things that happened last year, though. A trip to Nashville, where for a few brief moments throughout those days I had forgotten about everything that was going on and felt at peace. A spring full of quiet walks around the neighborhood with my favorite person in the world. Adding another licensed driver to the household, and worrying like crazy the first few times he drove to school by himself, and every time the weather is shitty. Multiple new stories in the Adventures of Tom and Jerry (that need to be posted here as well), including one where we were able to watch his final flight and attend his retirement ceremony in person, while doing everything in my power to hold back tears in a hangar full of soldiers. And getting to know and become close to one of the best souls I’ve met. They know who they are (and thank you). There was also a list of things that many chalked up to a mid-life crisis (classic car, tattoo, etc), and that certainly could have played into it all, but if that is the case, that part may not be over yet.
In any case, for the first time in a long time, I start the year off full of hope. Feeling like I’m in control. Bring it on, 2024.