Category: Adventures of Tom and Jerry

Christmas Gifts & Mischief…

I’m not certain what year I gave you the JT’s Bar sign, or what year we played canasta, or the classic console. I know it was at the early houses. I also know we still weren’t capable of adulting. It started with a snowball fight with Adam, Brandon, me, you, and more. It then progressed to us sneaking and still having a snowball fight while taking one or two light bulbs out of each strand of lights in the neighborhood and leaving them in the snowy yards. Your neighbors probably hated me (if they would have found out who I was, that is) but, we laughed out asses off, especially when Adam pegged a picture window and made us scatter like the annoying roaches we were.

[Jerry’s additions]

I believe it was around Christmas 2003 that you gave me the JT’s Bar sign. I have pictures of it in the Lancaster house on New Years day 2004 and it looks like we had just hung it up.

Breaking it all down…

In the early days of you adopting to drinking, you enjoyed making elaborate mixed drinks. One such beverage was the illustrious broken down golf cart. To say we over indulged on some nights would be a solid understatement. One of those nights we also sang karaoke on your machine at the house. Fortunately, and unfortunately, I started to not remember the name of the drinks causing me to refer to them as busted ass golf carts. Even better I could only remember the line “it’s been a while” in the song. Everyone probably remembers both. I’m fairly certain the majority of these golf carts never made it out of your lawn. Just another night for us all.

That’s not what it says…

One wonderful winter night we decided to get some stuff to make screwdrivers. I’m also pretty sure you picked up Jets or Hungry Howies and got the ingredients except when you got to the house we realized your “pulp free” OJ actually said Extra Pulp. Thus was decided to try and strain it which did not work, it clogged the colander (mostly) thus the legend of Jerry’s Hairy Orange Juice was born.

[Jerry’s additions]

Ha! We literally told this story to the kids a few days ago. Not so much the why we were buying the OJ, but the whole pulp story. We also tried coffee filters, but those worked about as well as the colander.

The Rental House days

  • 1013 Corrinne
  • 3302 Lancaster

Ah, growing up (sort of) I left for the Air Force, you got married, so did I. You and Lacey moved in to your 1st and then second rental house. This is where you would meet Brandon, Kenny, and Tommy. We still did dumb shit when I would visit., but the likelihood of jail, death, or dismemberment reduced each time.

[Jerry’s additions]

I technically already knew Brandon from him working with us at the school during the summer, but this is true for the other two. Funny enough, despite living next door to Kenny at the Corrinne house, it wasn’t until we moved around the corner that we started hanging out together. We had a lot of fun in that tiny little house. We were very lucky to have found it avoiding having to live at Woodland like so many of our friends.

Activate Stealth Mode!

Once again, the stupidity of youth shines bright, brighter than headlights that are turned off to be stealth on US 10 while speeding. I can’t remember the exact phrasing of how you told me I was on the off ramp and not the road, I also am not sure how close we came to hitting the exit sign and our own possible demise. Thankfully after that we kept the lights on while on route to our mischievous destinations. Whether those destinations involved TP, Forks, eggs, or whatever else…

Before Austin Powers…

We herein the greatest James Bond parody ever. The iconic opening with the garage door opening slowly and Steve, No Diggity blaring in the background. Every time I hear that song it reminds me of that. The villain chokes to death on pistachios and there was something to do with computers in the plot. I’m surprised no one has sought us out in Hollywood to make more gems like that.

[Jerry’s additions]

Best. Opening. Ever. I, too, think of that every time I hear that song!

I think I broke it

Actually, I think you said “Ow, fuck. I think my wrist is broken.” I told you it looked fine, so we sought our mom’s wisdom. She agreed with you so we called your mom & I drove you to ER or Urgent care (can’t remember which one). After x-rays, it was broken, and while the doctor was out of the room, your mom, [redacted], stole every bit of medical supplied she could because “They’re billing our insurance for all this stuff anyways.” My expert medical diagnoses was incorrect and your mom nabbed all the gauze. Fun times.

[Jerry’s additions]

What actually happened was that you said it looks fine, to stop being a pussy and keep playing. So I did. For like 3 more games. Then it started to hurt too bad, so you drove me to Kevin’s house to get some ice. Then we went back and tried to play more basketball. When I finally said I think we should go, you drove me to your house to have your mom look at it, who then said I should call my mom and have her meet us at the ER. At that point I could tolerate the pain, and I remember that phone call to my mother. I sounded upbeat when I said, “Hey mom, I think I broke my arm. You need to meet us at the ER.” She didn’t believe me so I handed the phone to your mom who said, “Hey Deb, yeah, he’s sincere, I think it might be broken.” The rest is accurate.

Hidden tracks and other minutiae

We did a lot of other things that are numerous and varied. From learning to play the hidden track (I as alone) to the countless hours spent recreating logos and other things in MS Paint. The multiple times bowling at Northern & occasionally elsewhere. The birthday parties… from your surprise 16th to my 16th where it rained so much that there was a ton of standing water & we swam in the street. Also the random parties @ Renee [redacted] or elsewhere. These aren’t getting their own section as there were more people and its more of a group memory, but I do remember them fondly.

Menace II Society

Probably our worst, longest, most dangerous Spanish movie ever. From burning a cardboard town to kicking the ever loving hell out of a dummy with a milk jug for a head. The ridiculous fireworks fight in the basement (which we replicated for a desperado film in which I think we were extras?), and the drive by in slow motion in your front yard. This was also the one where you were supposed to movie-slap Kevin, and instead slapped the dog shit out of him. This may or may not have coincided with us giving Bev the Bev Del Baño nickname amongst other shenanigans.

[Jerry’s additions]

This one needs a correction. It wasn’t me who was supposed to slap Kevin, it was the other way around. We will blame his coordination (or maybe it was just revenge for something I had pissed him off about) but he freakin slapped the shit out of my left ear. The worst part about that whole take was that we couldn’t even use it, because once Kevin actually connected with my face, Chad, who was the camera man, busted out laughing and started shaking the camera.

If the fall doesn’t kill you…

I really don’t know how we didn’t end up in the hospital more often. We went up in the garage attic to get various musical instruments, and I somehow pulled a Buster Keaton style fall directly out of it. I’m quite sure you though I was dead. I landed on a pile of pipes or lumber on the concrete garage floor and somehow walked away mostly unharmed. I actually think I was more concerned with whatever I had in my hands. Ah to be young. If only I could recover so rapidly from such things today.

[Jerry’s additions]

I vividly remember this. You were holding my dad’s guitar and amp, and landed on a bunch of metal pipes. It was like you didn’t even want to use the stairs. Like you just decided the fastest way down from the attic was to turn around and just fall. It was also the same day that we were putting the new rim on the hoop and you jumped up and grabbed it before we had tightened the bolts on the pole and brought it down on yourself. It really is surprising that you didn’t find a way to end up in the hospital that day.